That'd be me. For personal reasons, and because I'm not gonna be using this blog for fame, fortune, followers, and something else with f, I'm just going to refer to myself as 'E.' I don't like introductions, I'm not good at them, so, here's my elevator speech: Name's E, 15, somewhere in Northeast USA, Sophomore, clinically depressed but being treated, social anxiety that's being worked through, PTSD, a handful of good friends, a town full of druggies/sluts/wiggers/general idiocy where intelligent conversation is hard to find, and a bunch of people who I would love to hate. That's all you really need to know.
Today's Thursday, February 17th, 2011, although I assume it's going to say that already. I think I'm just going to refer to my town as 'E' as well. I went to a local hangout today to hang out with some friends. It was pretty relaxing earlier. Got to see N1, K1, A1, K2, and a few others who I don't feel like abbreviating. They're really some of the few intellectuals who go there. Unfortunately, I'm relatively younger than most of them so it's hard to find a good topic. That went pretty swell-ly. Is that a word? It is now. Excuse my spelling and grammatical errors, I'm normally cautious but some will slip through. There was a kid outside who fucked up his bike, so a few guys were working on it. The kid himself was high on cough medicine. What a fag. I don't look -down- on drugs, but, I do look down on the desperation and addiction they go through because of it. I mean, really? Are you that set on getting fucked up for a few seconds that you're gonna down cough syrup that tastes like shit? You can die that way, asshole. I didn't feel like saying it, though, since that kid and I already have a bad enough history. Then a lot of people from 'A,' a city over, showed up. Now, by no means am I racist- But, minorities and I typically don't get along, since I expect much more out of them then their mentors and school representatives did. I expect them to be people, not stupid gangsters. Talking like that will probably get me shot.
Everything was pretty okay for the evening. Talked with K1, listened to some music, hung with N1 and A1, got together with a friend of ours named S1 and went to McDonalds. I was buying. I don't feel too bad about it, though- S1's looking for a job, and plus she's pretty hot, N1's looking for a job and has a baby on the way from A1's uterus. Normally I don't think couples in early years like their teens or twenties will work out, but, I just have a really good feeling about their relationship, which is something odd that rarely ever happens They're all good people. We met up with a friend of mine and N1's- C1, I suppose, and sat around talking about what animal would be most effective if zombified. We decided that prehistoric, frozen animals like the Mammoth and Saber Tooth would be the best choice. They'd probably have bacteria that we've long since forgotten about in our immune system, and, after being cryogenically frozen for millions of years, they'd technically be living dead who would pass on disease.
We went back to the coffeeshop. That's when things started to get bad. I don't like most of the people there. I feel mean for saying it but about a fourth of the reason I go there is to watch people fuck up their lives after ignoring my advice about a situation. I don't want to seem holier-than-thou or egocentric, but, I've been through a lot in my life that I don't want to illustrate on. I know what decisions work and what don't. It's entertaining to watch people crumble after not picking the proper choice. I don't smoke- All of my friends do-, so, we went out for a break, after some drawing on a notebook page. We sat out there and talked about a bunch of stupid shit, again. Some girl, whose relatively new, decided to bitch me out for saying either a) smoking was lame or b) I remembered what a friend was laughing about yesterday that someone asked me about. She said, verbatim, "Every time you open your mouth I want to punch you in your face."
That bugs me. Not that she has a problem with me, but, when people say "Herp derp I wanna hit you," why don't they just hit you? Am I supposed to be threatened? I've seen things that make getting hit in the jaw by a nineteen year old seem very, very minuscule. I bit back my tongue from saying "What the fuck's your point?" or "You're a bitch all the time but you don't see me telling you about it" and went with a simple, "Okay..?" She left me alone after that. A few people sort of wtfed with me when she went back inside. I still don't know what I did wrong. Still ruined my night. Vented to N1 about it. Now just chilling at home, decided to make a blog. If nothing else it'll be good to look back on this months from now and see how I've changed, or how I've stayed the same. Let's just hope I can keep up with it and don't give up. I'm also keeping a dream journal on my desktop. If my days get too boring I'll write about some dreams I've been having.
Hi. I'm the letter 'E.'
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