But, for whatever reason, it's the only thing that will publish my posts on this site, because Chrome just herp derps and decides it's going to erase my entire post and just show the title. Apparently, I'm not the only one this is happening to. Just when you think you have the perfect browser. Fuck.
Fuck shit stack. Fuck shit stack. I don't mention it a lot, but, the amount of cursing that goes on in this town is ridiculous to the point where the most passionate person just becomes hilarious. Don't get me wrong, I'm a complete pottymouth, but, I don't go all Noah Maxwell on the topic at hand.
More people have managed to get pregnant. It's fucking annoying. I'm starting to side with R about not wanting to have children. They're pests and they get in the way and will just slow down my life.
Three paragraphs in before I mentioned her, that's a new one. We've been having some space lately, in that she's been on vacation since Wednesday, so we've only been texting and calling before bed and what not. I feel bad for saying it, but, I'm glad she took this break, it means I got all of the attention and S got none... for the most part. He made a new twitter account or something and I stumbled upon it which had me really down and jealous for a long time.
Then we talked on the phone for hours, again... It's just so refreshing. You think talking to someone would get boring after awhile, but, it never does. Everything is always interesting, and, if things get too stagnant, I think I've done a good enough job at keeping things well diversed. She makes me so happy. I'm still really afraid that I'm going to lose her, but, I prayed for a bit yesterday, which I'm getting back into the habit of doing, and, it seems as if everything's working out for the best. We discussed her visiting, maybe sometime in October or November. The only problem with this is that I need to explain the situation to my mother so that she could stay with us.
My mom's normally really chilled out about things, considering, unlike many other teenagers, I don't do drugs, I don't smoke, I don't steal, I don't lie, I don't break curfew and I don't have sex. But, somehow, saying "I'm in love with a 19 year old from Arkansas and I'd like if she could stay with us sometime soon" doesn't sound like it would end well. I think I'm going to have to separate the two sentences into "I'm in love with a girl from Arkansas" "She's 19" and maybe in a few weeks from now, "Do you think it'd be okay if she stayed with us for a weekend or a week or so?" I think my mom would trust her after she got to know her, but, the initial thoughts may not be too positive for her. I'm going to have to tell my mother soon. I just don't know when. Right now, an ex of hers is staying with us for the day. We were going to go to Musikfest but that never happened. I'm hoping he leaves soon... The sooner he's gone, the sooner I can try and explain what's going on between R and I.
Keyword here is try.
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