My therapist and I recently discussed my paranoia and my fear of becoming numb due to an insecurity of losing control over said numbness. I didn't want to revert to a stage where I would never feel again. He reassured me that the reason I lost control was because of my depression, and, now that I have taken this very tight grip over how my life is headed, I should have no problem being able to turn myself off for a few minutes when it needs to be done.
This is going to make my days a lot easier. I've been overly emotional recently, and, some time off is just what I need. Now, just to find where that pesky lever is that turns my numbness on. I assume it's somewhere next to the socket where my brain is unplugged from.
Beginning to see relationships as a futile waste of time that I want to avoid. Maybe that will change. I'm in logic-mode right now, and I can feel the fog rolling in to take away my sensations. Ironically enough, I do feel something.
I feel good.
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