I feel it coming apart. Well, at least I tried.
Me, I'm Not - Nine Inch Nails
I have a good friend named logic. It helps me figure out situations and the most rational solution to problems. For instance, what do I do when a girl who I have strong feelings for, and for good reasons, has strong feelings for someone else, with the variables being if she has any at all for me, if she truly knows me, and, if her reasoning is good.
I'll provide the facts I've dug into and uprooted.
-She's smart, but, fallible.
-I literally know next to nothing about him.
-I know even less about the interactions between them.
-I'm pretty awesome.
So, any person without clouded judgement would not settle for second best- Unless of an insecurity that would make them think the best option is out of reach. This leaves me with a few possibilities. There is no real feeling between them that is validated, which renders that illogical, her interpretation of me is incorrect, which renders any feeling or lack thereof for me illogical, or, she's insecure, which is just a fancy way of saying we're not being logical in our thinking.
All this time I've been looking for a reason that -I- needed to be the fallible one, not the off chance that perhaps it's both, or unrelated. So, basically, this isn't my fault. That's reassuring.
I want to kill away the feelings I had for her, especially if she's going to continue to be illogical like this. I've been listening to some new music to try and drown out thought upon trivial matters and look into something much more important- the meaning of a song by some band no one has ever heard of. I'm so constructive! Anyway, going to bed early, need to get into school a bit earlier than usual on account of the senior testing schedule.
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