I lost my mind
Lord, I'm fine
Maybe in time,
You'll want to be mine?
El Mañana - Gorillaz
She cut it off today... To be honest, I'm surprised she took so long to do this... I would have done it to myself a long time ago. It seems like my last stand was worthless, but, it gave me some closure about some stuff... Now that it's over, she wants some time to herself, which I understand completely and am fine with. Her denying me a chance in the future to redeem myself after we're both in better places mentally, emotionally, and physically... That worries me. I still want to be there for her, I want to be everything she could want, and, if given the opportunity, I'm sure it would happen. So, now I sit back, and wait for the time where she thinks she's ready and comes to seek me, which could be anywhere from in two weeks to two years, and any amount of things, including a relationship with the guy from England, happening, if she decides she wants to come seek me ever again.
It's either that or let go... I can't let go. I guess it's time to try and move past this and secretly hope somewhere in my subconscious that as my life goes on, she might turn back to me... But I'm doubting it. First 'G,' now 'R'... there seems to be a pattern here with people and logic... And I keep crawling back for more.
It's just a little upsetting. I was so willing to give up everything and spend the rest of my life with her... I guess she just didn't feel the same, and need to come to terms with the concept that she may never feel the same again after this break and move.
Let's try and stay positive, E.
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